quinta-feira, 22 de novembro de 2007

  • My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!
  • I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  • Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
  • Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
  • You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  • Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
  • I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • God must love stupid people, He made so many.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  • Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.