- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!
- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- God must love stupid people, He made so many.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
- Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
- Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
- Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Truism
quinta-feira, 22 de novembro de 2007
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